The Little Things In Life
by Rainumora
Summary: An ever growing group of one shots that look into the everyday lives of the characters of Bleach. [[Rating Subject to Change]]
1. Ishida's Notebook

"I can't stand it anymore…" Muttering quietly to himself, Ishida pulled out a tiny, black notebook from inside of his desk. He sat directly in front of Ichigo Kurosaki, his number one menace, and it was driving him insane!

Pulling the top off his pen, Ishida quickly made a list in the tattered notebook, a sign showing it was often usesd. 

"_Things I Hate #786_

_1) Ichigo Kurosaki / All Shinigami_

_2) Renji Abarai (He's a redheaded version of Ichigo.)_

_3) The world ginormous_

_4) People who say 'like' ten times in one sentence_

_5) Texan accents_

_8) Bunnies"_

Taking a breath, Ishida felt thoroughly relieved. All of his annoyances were safely maintained in his little notebook he called his hatebook. 

Hate and notebook in the same word, sometimes his own genius even suprised him. Smirking, Ishida could hardly believe his brilliance in releaving his stress and pulled his normal class notebook back to the center of the desk again.

About two hours later, the lunch bell finally rang, relieved students groaning as they stood and stretched. Today, so far, had been exceptionally bad; the class nearly had a test in every subject. Letting out a small sigh, Ishida pulled his lunch box out from inside of his desk and stood, walking to the corner of the room where the Sewing Club regularly met.

"He… He left it! Grab it Ichigo." Renji whispered to his fellow classmate, and Strawberry quickly grabbed it. 

Ichigo opened it, peering at what the Quincy had written, an evil smile going across his face. "Oh… This is going to be so easy."

An hour later, Ishida realized his was missing something very important; his hatebook! Looking frantically through his desk, the Quincy was confused. Where had he left it? Did he put it in his book bag? Going through his stuff quickly, he let out a yelp as a peice of chalk hit him on the top of his head, the class breaking out in laughter. "Ishida read the first line in the book!" The teacher called out, and the Quincy scowled, but complied.

Ishida still had not found his hatebook, and the school day was ending. Looking around at his fellow classmates, he mentally thought over who could have taken it. _Kuchiki? No, she's too polite… Sado? No… Orihime? No…_

Scowling, he put the books he needed for the night in his bag, standing to leave when suddenly he heard behind him…

"Renji, isn't that cloud ginormous? Like, it looks like, oh, like, a bunny or something." Ichigo called to his fellow shinigami, the man sitting two seats behind him.

"I dun know there Ichigo, it looks more like a ginormous 'gator to me, or like a type o' mutant chicken." Renji called back, his voice laden down with a fake Texan accent.

Ishida nearly had a heart attack, all most everything he hated in a few sentences! Gasping for breath, the Quincy looked at the two, his world starting to swirl.

"It's frekin' ginroums, hey Rukia, like, don't you think, like, it looks like some sort of chappy bunny, or like, some sort of mutant, like, chicken?" Ichigo asked his mentor.

"It's hard to tell, chappy is more, like, puffy, like this, you know, like…" She held up a drawing in front of her, showing the other shinigami.

"I 'unno there Rukia, I dun' see no chappy." Pretending to chew on a grass stalk, Renji let out a sigh. "I think that there cloud looks like a 'gador."

Ishida felt his vision darken. He was dieing! He was really dieing! "Okaa-san… I'm coming to you!" The Quincy called out, and he fainted to the ground, landing with a hard thump on the linoleum tile.

"Dude!" Ichigo let out a laugh, hoping up to go poke Ishida. "We made him freakin' faint! Nice one Renji!" Giving the thumbs up to his companion, Ichigo pulled out a permanent marker. "Way too easy." Grinning, he quickly squiggled a chappy face on the downed Quincy, standing after a few moments. 

"You guy wanna go get some Ramen?"

"Yeah, let's go Rukia." Renji said, swinging his bag over his shoulder.

Rukia stood, holding her bag in one of her hands. She stopped when she neared Ishida, flames growing in her eyes. "That's what you get for insulting Chappy the Bunny!"


	2. RIP

His shinigami robes flowed around him, his zonpakto propped across the back of his shoulders. He was the epitome of cool.

"Well… Rukia! What do you think of me now?" Ichigo smirked, turning around to look at the shinigami that had just leant him his powers. "Pretty cool, huh?"

Ichigo frowned. Rukia was staring at him as if she was trying not to laugh, her face starting to redden over.

"What is it?"

"H… Hao… Haori." She suddenly let out a laugh, her eyes tearing up as she pointed at him. "I can't believe it!"

"Haori?" Ichigo frowned, and looked down at the lower half of his outfit. "What's wrong with my haori? I don't see any-…. Oh." Looking over his shoulder, Ichigo felt the blood rush to face, mortified beyond words. The seat of his haori was exposed, showing the entire world his glorious… Teddy bear boxers!

"I didn't buy them… okay?!" He snapped at the injured shinigami next to him, the woman exploding into laughter.

"Snrk! Yeah right!"


	3. Rangiku's Problem

The fuku-taichou of squad ten seemed especially elated. Taichou Hitsuyuga, of course, was worried. He watched the large, busty blonde pace around his office with renewed vigor, dusting and cleaning random objects. "You know..." Hitsuyuga started slowly, watching as Rangiku dusted a potted plant, "we have maids for that sort of thing."

"Oh, I know!" She replied, twirling around on her heel, "but Taichou-kun, I'm _soo_ happy!" She giggled, nearly snapping the tiny duster in half. Laughing, she set the small tool down, pulling out a paper from her ample cleavage.

_Does she keep everything in there?_ Hitsuyuga mused, before looking up at her giddy face, "and what's that, Rangiku?"

"Well, it's a list of all of the people who tried to jump me today!" She replied with a grin and laugh.

"…A what?"

"You heard me, Taichou! Now, should I read you the list?" Rangiku asked with enthusiasm. Without waiting for Hitsuyuga's permission, she sat down on top of his desk, unfolding the paper. "Well, first there was Toshimori Umesada from ninth squad, and that was when I went to go take a bath, he was the one that hit on Orihime when she was here. Before that Gin, of course."

"Of course." Hitsuyuga nodded, but was a bit unsure of where this was going…

"…And then Kurotsuchi-taichou tried to jump me again, after my bath as well as during it. He kept explaining the need to perform some sort of experiment to see why they're so big!" She folded the list, apparently having finished reading off the names.

"Rangiku." Hitsuyuga started slowly.

"Yes?"

"What exactly did that list mean?" The silver-haired youth asked, he was a bit confused, after all, why she had told him all of this.

"Isn't it obvious Taichou?" She seemed surprised, blinking at him.

"Obviously not, else I wouldn't be asking you." He replied.

"It was a record today! Only three men have tried to jump me and it's already five o'clock!" She pointed for emphasis at the clock on Hitsuyuga's desk.

The Taichou was a bit taken back at this, and let out a large sigh, rubbing his temple with his left hand. "That's not a good thing, Rangiku, a woman should never be jumped by a… Hey! Are you listening to me?" He snapped at the woman, but she was busy again, this time organizing his papers.

"Only three, only three, la la la…" Rangiku hummed underneath her breath, bustling around the large office, without a care in the world. After all, when she was only jumped by three men in one day, the gods must be granting her good luck, right?


	4. The Truth Behind Orihime's Cooking

Orihime Inoue was a unique person. She enjoyed many things in life, but most of all, she loved to cook. Unfortunately for her close ring of friends, her unique personality was also put into her food. 

Tatsuki was often the test subject for Inoue's… Inventive food flavors. Inventive being a kind description of the oddities the girl produced. Tatsuki often took a bottle of Pepto Bismol with her on any outings with Inoue, because the girl often insisted that she would bring the lunches and any other food they may need.

On one such outings, Tatsuki and Inoue had taken the train down to Tokyo Bay for a bit of 'girl time'. Tatsuki dreaded these excursions more than anything else, Inoue would invent some bizarre form of food, and then it would all go down hill from there.

"What's the matter, Tatsuki?" Inoue asked, the other girl seemed to be rather odd and her face was incredibly pale. "Did you get motion sickness?"

"N… No, it's not that." Tatsuki grumbled, clutching her stomach reflexively. The athletic girl was dreading what sort of concoction that Inoue had thought up, but she couldn't exactly refuse whatever she had brought for lunch. She didn't want to hurt Inoue's feelings.

The orange-haired girl sat down, pulling out two bento boxes from her bag. "Here ya go Tatsuki!" She held one up to the other girl, who slowly took it, dreading what ever was in the innocent, pink container.

Tatsuki sat down as well, and popped the lid off, finding, with some surprise, that it was just a regular bento box. No chocolate-covered radishes were in sight, or sushi made with ice cream instead of rice. It was a plain, safe bento box. Letting out a sigh of relief, Tatsuki pulled apart her chopsticks, digging into the normal food.

After a few moments of eating, Inoue looked to her friend, pulling off a piece of rice that was stuck to her blouse. "How do you like it?"

"It's very, very good!" Tatsuki replied, eating the last morsel of food from the plastic box. "But what suddenly made you change your cooking style?" 

"Well…" Inoue blushed, fiddling with her chopsticks, "I… I thought Kurosaki-kun might like it bet… Better."

"Ah." The other girl understood, and she smiled, leaning over to pat Inoue's shoulder lightly. "I'm sure he'll love it, it tastes amazing. But, I have to ask, why did you cook such strange things before?"

Inoue frowned, thinking over what she had cooked, "well, I always thought they had tasted good, and besides, you always ate it, so I thought you liked it!"

"You mean you kept making all of that stuff for me?" 

"Mhmm! You always ate everything too!" Inoue grinned, and went back to eating her food.

Tatsuki stared at her bento box for a long time after that, unable to believe that _she_ was the cause of Inoue's weird cooking habits. _I… I went through the wasabi and ice cream phase because she thought I liked it?!_ Tatsuki felt silent tears start to stream down her cheeks, and she could only stare out at the distant waves, contemplating the torture she had put her self through. 


	5. A Gift For My Taichou

Ikkaku was facing a dilemma; he had to get something for Kenpachi-Taichou's birthday, but he couldn't think of what! The third seat didn't have the slightest clue as to what to get his deadly commander, and Yumichika wasn't helping the situation one bit.

"Oh! I know!" Yumichika said suddenly, emphasizing his point by hitting his fist against his palm. "What does the Taichou like?" He looked to Ikkaku, who blinked stupidly, not having the faintest idea what the trigger-happy Kenpachi would like, let alone want. Yumichika let out a sigh, but quickly regained his composure, "he's always wearing bells, right? So, why don't we get him a new set? We could get him something beautiful, like gold bells encrusted with diamonds, or bells carved out of pearls!"

The monk-like shinigami made a face, it all sounded rather… Fruity, in his opinion. "No way, the Taichou would never go for something like that! He wants something manly, something… Something like that!" Ikkaku suddenly stood up, pointing to the left of Yumichika.

Yumichika looked over his shoulder, and all he saw was a large gong. "…A gong, Ikkaku? How very… Ugly." The pretty-boy made a face of utter disgust, but quickly saved him self, smoothing out his skin. After all, wrinkles were a very ugly thing.

"Not a gong, stupid! I mean a tattoo!" At that moment Renji Abarai had walked into the Eleventh Squad's courtyard, spouting his inked figure. "That would be perfect, don't you think?"

"I suppose…" The fifth seat replied, eyeing Renji as he walked by, "but who could we get to tattoo the Taichou? We certainly can't take him to the real world, he would tear the fabric of reality apart because of his rampant spirit energy."

"True…. True…" Ikkaku muttered. Placing his hand in his chin, he stared at Renji, who seemed completely oblivious to the schemes of the Eleventh Squad. "Where'd Renji get his done, anyways? I've never heard of the Soul Society having a tattoo parlor."

Yumichika let out a disgusted sound, and stood up. "There's no use pondering where he got it done, we should just go ask him." The man flounced on over to Renji, who seemed preoccupied with something.

"Renji, would you mind if I ask you a question?" The fifth chair asked.

"Ya, ya, sure, what is it?" The Fuku-Taichou muttered, looking at something he had in his hands.

"Where'd you get your tattoo's done?"

"What? Oh, these, I did them my self." Renji replied, and pulled out a paper, a grin on his face, "ah hah! Give this to Kenpachi-Taichou for me, will ya?" He asked, handing a sealed envelope to Yumichika.

The pretty-boy seemed a bit confused, how did Renji get the tattoos on his back? "What do you mean you did them your self, didn't someone else help you?"

"Oh, yeah, Mayuri-Taichou did my back and legs for me, go see him I guess." Renji replied, putting the papers underneath his arm, "why are you so curious about them, anyways?"

"Oh, no reason." Yumichika replied, bowing to thank the Fuku-Taichou, and turned, returning back to Ikkaku.

"Well?" The chrome-dome asked, looking up at his companion expectantly. 

"We have to go see… _Him_…" Yumichika replied, his eyebrow twitching. "Taichou of Twelfth Division…"

Ikkaku's jaw dropped to the floor, and he suddenly felt a cold breeze whistle past him on the spring morning. Of course, that Sadist. It made sense that he would want to do something as painful as tattooing. "Well, should we get going?" He asked after a moment, standing and putting his katana through his sash.

"I… I suppose." Yumichika replied. His face was pale and distant; he was remembering his physical from a few months ago, and the horrid things that 'doctor' had put him through. Shuddering at the thought of large, metal objects getting probed into places where they shouldn't of been, he steeled his resolve. "If it's for Taichou, I'll do it!"

Mayuri Kurotsuchi was a frightening man, the screams of his division were heard well into the night by the surrounding residents, and often many shinigami would try and avoid the man, in fear of becoming his next experiment. The two shinigami from Eleventh Division, on the other hand, desperately needed to find the devil-man, in hopes of convincing him to tattoo Kenpachi-Taichou.

Ikkaku gulped as he looked at the 'Do Not Enter' sign to the front of Mayuri's lab, then shuddered when the screams of a poor soul rang out into the air. It was like walking into Hell, but it had to be done. Reaching up, he slowly pulled a door bell rope, a large gong sounding in the interior of the compound.

Suddenly, the sounds of machines whirring, people screaming, and any other noise stopped. Harsh, loud footsteps came pounding to the gate, and it was flung open, a very dishelmed, and angry, looking Mayuri standing above the two men. "And what do _you_ want? I am in the middle of a very important experiment and I don't have time for you two!"

"W…Well…" Yumichika replied, taking the initiative, "we were wondering if you d-did tattoos…" 

"Tattoos, eh? And what for, you would never want to get one," Mayuri pointed at Yumichika, "and you… I just don't like you." He then pointed to Ikkaku, who seemed about ready to pee his pants.

"Not for us, but for Kenpachi-Taichou! His birthday is coming up and we'd like to give him a present he'll never forget." Ikkaku replied meekly, holding onto the rope with all of his might.

Mayuri seemed surprised, and contemplated this, thinking over what he could do. "Well, if it's for Kenpachi… I imagine I could squeeze in some time for him." The mad-doctor rubbed his metal chin, looking up at the sky for a moment. "Fine, I'll do it, but I require payment in return."

"Wh… What sort of payment?" Yumichika squeaked, all sort of lewd, and painful, acts coming to mind. He reflexively clenched his hands over his stomach, staring at Mayuri.

The Twelfth-Division captain leaned forward, an evil tint in his amber-colored eyes. "I need you to bring me a dumpling."

"A dumpling?" The two men said in unison.

"Yes, a dumpling, but not just any dumpling. A special dumpling, one that only appears at night." Mayuri leaned back, looking at the two men, "it's blue, and I want to watch- er, experiment on it." 

Ikkaku nodded, "I suppose we can get it for you, where does it usually appear?"

"In the women's bath. Now, go and get it or I'll start to experiment on you two!"

"Y-Yes sir!" Both shinigami turned tail and ran as quickly as they could away from the mad-doctor.

After a couple minutes of regaining their composure, the two nodded to each other. "Tonight!" Ikkaku said, "we shall get that dumpling, and thus ensure the ultimate gift for Taichou!"

Yumichika scowled, muttering under his breath, "I still thing pearl bells would've been good…"

The two tried every night to get the blue dumpling that Mayuri had talked about, and each night for a week, they had been thwarted in their plans. First, it was Rangiku who thought they were spying on her, and sufficiently pounded them into the ground before continuing on her way. Next was Soifon-Taichou, who had, to put it lightly, ensured that they wouldn't be having children for the next year or so. Lastly, there had been Unohana, who had assured them they wouldn't be receiving anesthesia for their next surgery.

"This is hopeless!" Yumichika muttered, sitting down with a large 'thump' on top of the wall. The Taichou's birthday was the very next day, and they hadn't been able to get into the hot springs, let alone find this blue dumpling.

"We can't give up! To give up means to die!" Ikkaku retorted, standing up to peer through the mist of the hot spring. "Oh! Look at that!" He pointed at something that seemed to be on top of a large rock near them, and he leapt over, grabbing it before any women who might come in could accuse him of peeping. The thing he had in his hand was certainly blue, but it was also gray, and had a strange red light coming off of it, and read 'Sony Camcorder 9000'. Confused, Ikkaku could only assume this was what Mayuri has meant, and he gave Yumichika a thumbs up, showing that their mission was accomplished.

The two raced back to Mayuri-Taichou's compound, and he gave them a small piece of paper in return, which read, _one free tattoo by the exalted Mayuri-Sama for Kenpachi-Taichou_.

The two eleventh division shinigami were delighted, and they raced back to their compound, quickly putting the piece of paper inside an envelope with both of their names on it. "This is going to be the best present, ever, for Taichou!" Ikkaku replied, a grin on his face.

The next day, at the Taichou's birthday party, Ikkaku and Yumichika could hardly contain their excitement as they ate with the rest of their squad. Kenpachi seemed relatively happy, but the three bottles of sake had had drunk could also be something to do with his rather benign mood. Yachiru-Fuku-Taichou was sitting on Kenpachi's lap, playing with a present from one of the other shinigami.

"Ken-chan! Come on! Open this one, it's from Yachiru!" She said, and held up a rather poorly wrapped, pink package. The Taichou took it, patting Yachiru on the head.

"Of course, now, let's see what you got me." He opened the package, and a grin swept over his face. "How did you know, Yachiru? I've been wanting some new ones for quite some time." In the package was a set of hammered gold bells with a tiny diamond for a ringer on the inside.

Yumichika and Ikkaku stared, feeling their stomachs drop. He wanted that garish thing?! Their Taichou, the epitome of manliness… Wanted bells?!

"Now, Ikkaku, Yumichika, what did you get me? I hope it wasn't another certificate from Mayuri for a free tattoo or something, I already have a bunch of those." He held up an entire wad of the tattoo certificates, and Ikkaku felt his world drop. "He's been trying to get me to go in there to experiment on me…"

"Of course not, Taichou!" Yumichika quickly replied, holding the certificate underneath his hakama sleeve, "we… Er… Wanted to keep it a surprise, so we'll be giving it to you later!"

"Mm… It had better be good then." Kenpachi replied, and leaned over to let Yachiru start to put on his new bells. 

Later that evening, the Soul Society captured Ikkaku and Yumichika trying to escape into the real world illegally. Their punishment has been left to their Taichou, and reports say that their Taichou keeps demanding where his birthday present is. The two shinigami have yet to issue a statement explaining exactly _where_ their Taichou's present is, and why they were trying to sneak into the Real World. 


	6. Espada Holes

One day, after countless days or destruction, mayhem, total anarchy, and violence, Gin was feeling rather confused. He had been observing some of the Arrancar for some time, and he had yet to figure out why they had holes in places other than their heart. He, of course, did not want to disturb the great Aizen-Sama with such a trivial matter, so he went to another source; Ulquiorra Schiffer, number four in the Espada.

Gin caught up to the completely white man, waiting a few minutes before blurting out, "why do you have a hole in your neck?"

Ulquiorra stopped, turning around slowly. Gin gulped softly, realizing that he could have angered the deadly creature; even though he was above shinigami-Taichou level, he wasn't sure if he would be able to take an Arrancar over level five.

"Why, you ask?" Ulquiorra started slowly, his emerald green eyes opening to stare directly at the lavender-headed man in front of him. "It is because I chose to have it here."

"You can choose?" Gin asked, a bit confused at this statement, "but isn't it supposed to be where your heart comes out, right here?" He brought a hand up, placing it in front of his sternum.

"When hollows become Arrancar, they must give up part of their being. I decided to give up my tonsils and esophagus." The Espada member reached up, putting his finger tips on the rim of his hole. His dark eyes were dead serious, and his white face was unmoving, like a statue.

Gin nodded, putting a hand underneath his chin. "I see… I see…" Suddenly, something clicked in his mind, and his already narrowed eyes became narrower, "wait… If you gave that up, how can you speak?"

Ulquiorra stared at Gin, and the shinigami stared back. For a moment, it was as if all time was lost, then suddenly Ulquiorra's lips twitched! He was laughing!

The ex-Taichou felt a bit confused, and embarrassed. He had never seen this Arrancar laugh, or show any sort of emotion for that matter… Number Four suddenly broke out into a large grin, distorting his white face to such a degree of ugliness and ferocity that the shinigami looked away quickly.

The Espada member turned, his face smoothing out as he went. "Do not pester me again, shinigami. Even if you are a partner to Aizen-Sama, I have no qualms with injuring you… Severely."

"…Uh… Right, sure…" Gin felt his stomach lurch as he remembered Ulquiorra's face; he wouldn't be doing that anytime soon. "I'm just going to go throw up for the next hour…" He muttered, and made a dash for the nearest bathroom.

Ulquiorra felt a grin grace his face, yet again, as he heard the shinigami retreat. An Arrancar servant near him let out a scream, collapsing to the ground. He stared at the fallen made for a moment, then let out a sigh. Being an Espada member was tough work, especially when the help was dieing. Who was going to make him tea now?


	7. Gold

Grimmjow was curious about this girl. What had Aizen seen in her? She was a simple human, she was certainly attractive… But she was ordinary. 

His face turned into a frown when she approached him, had he heard Aizen correctly? He wanted her to _heal_ his arm? He would have snorted, if he could. No human could reverse that sort of injury, no matter the supposed "ability" of said human.

The blue-haired Espada watched with amazement as his arm returned, fully functioning and perfect, as if it had never been blown away. This gave him an idea. "Woman." He stated, turning around, "heal this." He indicated with his thumb his burned-out Espada Number. 

He watched her carefully, she was scared, and he would have been surprised if she wasn't, but this girl, this Orihime complied. Perhaps there was more to humans than he had originally thought. 

The days passed by, and soon it became a month. Then finally her friend appeared. During that time, Grimmjow had grown somewhat attached to the girl, but as a Hollow, let alone an Espada, he did not show this feeling of curiosity and need. These emotions were too human, and they bothered him.

Number Four was her caretaker, but one day he wasn't there, and two Espada whores got into _his_ human's quarters. Yes, he thought of the girl as his, not even as a lover, but simply something that belonged to him. She was not Aizen's, she was not _that_ shinigami's either, she was his.

Of course, he saved her, but in keeping with his façade he demanded something in return. She complied, just like that time before. Grimmjow knew he could never pursue this girl like other females; he could not interact with her as lovers. At that moment, when he had grabbed her, if against her will, and took her out of the palace, he had to make a choice.

He wanted to fight that shinigami and defeat him, to prove to this girl that he was better. She would be his.

However… It hadn't worked out like that.

She healed him, but in turn he became bitter once again. She looked at that shinigami wish such endearing, loving eyes that he forgot any motive, any… Love he might of felt. She was a stupid human.

Angry at his own foolishness, he had tried to destroy her and the brat-hollow with the Ultimate Cero, but the shinigami got in the way again, and he was swept up into fighting once again. It lasted for an hour, and as they used their last ounces of strength, he started to think about her again.

This cost him the fight, and he was struck down, sent spiraling into the white sand. He had lost this unknown battle for this woman, she would never be his and he had to accept this fact.

Grimmjow stared up at the clouds, feeling his life ebb away. His vision darkened as the corners, and for a moment he almost welcomed death until he saw the familiar, golden covering of the girl. She was healing him, saving him.

Orihime Inoue. That was her name. She had an impeccably kind soul, and it brought a feeling of sadness to his tortured soul. She was healing him after all he had put her and her companions through.

He could not love her like he wanted to. He could not hate her like had to. 

Sitting up slowly, Grimmjow's form dissipated, returning to a more human state. He could worship her; revere her like one would an icon or a goddess. Yes, she was his goddess, even if she didn't see it.

She was his Orihime Inoue. 


End file.
